My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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