my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize