I wanna passion pit in your ass
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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