I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize