Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Randomize