I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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