You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize