I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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