I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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