Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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