its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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