did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
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Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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