She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize