Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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