you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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