i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize