im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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