you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think my moral compass just broke
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