i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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