I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
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I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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