Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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