he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
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yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
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I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize