I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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