i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize