My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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