I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
