Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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