Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
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Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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