Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize