Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize