His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize