Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize