He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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