Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
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I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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