the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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