Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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