I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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