He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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