This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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