But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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