I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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