dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize