due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize