He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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