Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize