you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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