There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize