It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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