After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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