Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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